tiistai, 13. elokuu 2019


My name is Nathan Caltrop.

I never had to recharge my phone. 

It is a gift. I could power a car's starting engine with a touch.


I dreamt of a man with a sword that gave me a sigil that I could "use to contact him".

It resembled a 


*Beep Beep Beep*


"I saw you.

I saw you.

I saesdf.........m"


That was the whole message. 


Me in my underpants with my dick in my hand already browsing porn, was not ready for this.

Threw the phone away from me.

It throbbed with something eerie. 

The message said "I'm really horny and near you."


The images I had seen in the little app were stuff of nightmares for sure.

Effin' circles of hell shit.


Grappling with my trousers I consoled myself out of bed and took another look at the discarded phone.

Grabbed it on my way out.

I was running and crying while punching his number.

I'll be there


A few steps toward out on the walkway.


I could feel its breath.

"I'm 1m away and horny still"


"Oh god!"



tiistai, 30. heinäkuu 2019


Itselleen anteeksiantava peto



Sinä et ole koskaan ollut rakkaani

en koskaan puoleesi ole kääntynyt

kuin heikoimmalla hetkellä


Se on miehen kilpi


Ne kerrat kun huusit että haluaisin lyödä.

Mitä sinulle oli tehty aiemmin?

Olenko sinun rankaisijasi?

Olenko inkvisiittori?

Vai rakastajasi!


Pitänyt pääni muulla tavalla

kertonut oikeista tunteistani

ja tälläkään hetkellä


En aio aloittaa



"Jätän sinut siihen, se on sattunut eniten.

ja se on sattunut

ja se sattuu"


Löysin uuden sielun,

hän elvytti minut elämään,

poisti pahat tavat jotka kiersi kehää


Näytti toisen tavan.


 I was alive but said nothing.

- anonymous

tiistai, 30. heinäkuu 2019

Kataluuden luonteesta I

Se työnsi sen sisäänsä taas tänään
Vanhaa haavaa tapaava kokemus
Halasi äitiään hyvästiksi ja laski yhden pisteen pois elämänsä bucket-listasta

Miksi huominen?
Tule takaisin.
Tule takaisin.
Tule takaisin.

Mene. Pois.

Juo huolesi pois.
Ole se virran vuos.
Kulje mukaan rakkauden.

Hän näytti minulle tien.
Hän on kuollut.

Mihinkä tässä voi mennä kuin alaspäin?

Taivaskin kun on kielletty omasta suusta. Piru manattu tilaisuuden tullen.

Ab alio exspectes, alteri quod feceris.

maanantai, 17. kesäkuu 2019

Best Day of My Life



I finished a thing of my list.


I really got nothing.


The day that I realized I don't care.

And offbeat insults make you swear.

When they should make you laugh.

At the mirror you've become.

You die alone.


I really got nothing.

keskiviikko, 12. kesäkuu 2019

Practicality In Morninblight (WIP)

It was not a normal day for Laki.

This day had seen him struggle to find any coin for his keep, even at this makeshift town where they did not look sourly at passing folk to the east... well they did. He was a "mountain man". An enemy. But he kept his wits about him and his face as well. And he was going west.

Even at this tavern while digging into his thin gruel, it was exiting, a new way of doing things. A way to say "fuck you" to the past.

[chunks missing, mercenaries, camp, deal, preparation, ambush, conflict)


A sudden steer, just a little bit of the flesh

A spoon-fed bite, knife edge full of caress

Tear it down, tear it in, swivel

Take it out, from side to side, shiver

A yard of mud and bones becomes the stage.

Some like it dangerous, some like something else,

So silver coin are promised to set the.... wheels running.

The first cut releases a ghost.

Eager, yearning eyes. Desperetaly gnawing at me
roll, parry, thurst to end the point

Finally the flesh decides what it hates the most.

Eager, yearning eyes. Lovingly praying for me
toll, bleary, unready soon out of sight.

He checks the kill. Draws an arrow out of his shoulder.
Snatches all of its money. All the concoctions from the belts.

Not relishing, there is always another hill.

Just to be born anew."


Laki remembers, as if startled from a dream. The assassin's mark! A burning spider between the flesh of its thumb and forefinger. Ready to be shown. Always hidden.

And now again. On the field, the same mark, on a coin hidden in a dead man's boot.

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