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  • "Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink."
  • "3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred."
  • "Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included."
  • "Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops."
  • "Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again."
  • "Illiterate? Write today for free help."
  • "Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary."
  • "Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating."
  • "Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale."
  • "And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience."
  • "We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00."