There once were two gate-wardens. Their village plagued by strange disappearances and random acts of violence kept them vigilant. They spoke thus.

Guard One:  Have you heard of mayor’s servants? He’s gifted them shiny shoes with bright buttons.

Guard Two: I certainly have. I´m envious of such boons.

They were roused from their converse by a haggard looking man clearly in fear of his dear life, yelping with fear. Without a thought the second guard ran him through with his spear.

Guard One: Why in god’s name did you kill the mayor’s steward?

Guard Two: He wasn’t wearing his shoes.

Ok, second one done. I'll challenge with the following title: "Freighter Condition."